2026-09-25 · Written by the SPS team
Warning Signs of Suicide in Young Men
In teen boys and young men, suicide risk often shows up as irritability and anger rather than visible sadness, withdrawal that gets read as "he's just being independent," increased substance use, and risk-taking. It's underreported because it doesn't look like the textbook picture.
Why it looks different in guys
Depression and suicidal thoughts in teen boys and young men often don't look like sadness. They look like irritability, short fuses, and anger that seems to come out of nowhere. They look like withdrawal that gets explained away as "he's just being independent" or "that's just how teenage boys are." They look like a sudden increase in drinking, drugs, or risky behaviour, which is frequently self-medication rather than recklessness for its own sake. Because none of this matches the picture most people expect, it gets missed. If you want the general, demographic-neutral checklist first, start with Warning Signs of Suicide.
The added weight of "be strong"
In South Africa specifically, there's a cultural and often a church-shaped expectation that men don't show weakness. "Be strong," "man up," "take it like a man" get absorbed early and repeated often, at home, at school, and sometimes from the pulpit. The result is that a young man carrying real pain has learned, long before anyone notices something is wrong, that admitting it isn't allowed.
What to say that doesn't trigger a shutdown
A direct, sit-down "we need to talk" conversation can feel like an ambush and cause him to close off further. Side-by-side conversations, in a car, on a walk, while doing something with your hands, tend to work better than face-to-face ones. Ask specific, low-pressure questions rather than "are you okay," which is easy to wave off with "fine." Try "you've seemed really wound up lately, what's going on" instead. And when he does open up, resist the urge to immediately fix it. Listen first.
Pointing him toward help without the big talk
Offer to go with him rather than telling him to go alone, to a doctor, a counsellor, or to call SADAG's crisis line: 0800 567 567. Frame it as normal, something anyone dealing with real pressure would do, not as a last resort for people who are "broken." And if you're a young man reading this about yourself: reaching out isn't weakness, it's exactly what strength actually looks like.
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
— 2 Timothy 1:7