2026-07-16 · Written by the SPS team
Loving yourself isn't selfish — it's biblical
Self-care isn't selfish — it's stewardship. Jesus's command to 'love your neighbour as yourself' (Mark 12:31) assumes you already know how to care for your own basic needs; extending that same care to yourself, including rest and professional help, is part of loving well, not a departure from it.
A culture of suspicion toward self-love
There's a strand in Christian culture that treats self-love with suspicion. 'Don't be selfish.' 'Die to yourself.' 'It's not about you.' These phrases have truth in them — but they've also been used to shame people into neglecting their own wellbeing in the name of holiness.
The assumption inside the second great commandment
But look at Jesus's second great commandment: 'Love your neighbour as yourself' (Mark 12:31). The phrase assumes something important — that you know how to love yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in the basic human way: you feed yourself when you're hungry, you rest when you're tired, you seek help when you're hurting. The command assumes you already do these things for yourself and extends that same care to others.
Denying yourself is not destroying yourself
When Jesus says 'deny yourself and follow me' (Luke 9:23), He's not calling you to self-hatred. He's calling you to a realignment — putting God's kingdom ahead of your own agenda. But denying yourself isn't the same as destroying yourself. A disciple who hates themselves is not a healthy disciple.
Paul's body metaphor in 1 Corinthians 12 makes the same point: 'If one part suffers, every part suffers.' Your body cares for its own members. That's not selfishness — it's how things are supposed to work. You are a part of the Body of Christ, and your wellbeing matters to the whole.
What this looks like in practice
Taking care of yourself — getting rest, seeing a therapist, taking medication, setting boundaries — is not unspiritual. It's stewardship of the body God gave you. You can't love your neighbour well if you're running on empty. Self-care isn't selfish. It's wisdom.
"Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
— Mark 12:31
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